A visitor from Tuvalu

I first read bb's blog 'say la vee' seven years ago and it rescued me from a pit of gloom where I had fallen when I realised that I would never be the paragon of domestic creativity that I saw on other blogs. Since then she has written hundreds of comments and emails making me laugh, encouraging me, kicking me when I am pathetic and sharing some of her own life. But I had never met her and yesterday all that changed.

We walked and talked and then drank and talked and then ate and talked. 

This is what I learned about bb

1.
bb is tiny
She sort of vanished when I hugged her,
trapped somewhere near my waist.

2.
bb has an American accent
Yes!
She says things like "fillay" and "paaaants".
It is utterly charming.

3.
bb is a Jedi Master in scarf tying
She can transform silk into structured clothing
whereas I transform silk into accidents.

4.
bb does not like walking across bridges
Which was awkward because
the high point of our walking tour was
the Jubilee Bridge across the Thames
.
5.
bb's family have heads
I was astonished when I saw photos
because I had assumed
they stopped at the neck.

6.
bb loves the Royal Family
We had to talk about Prince George
and his cute little chubby cheeks. A lot.

7.
bb loves Positano and Paola
I am pretty sure that Paola's ears were burning
with all the lovely things that were being said.

8.
bb does not remember what she has written
I was amazed - I remember it all.
She should hire me as a consultant.

At the end of the evening we looked through the window of the restaurant at great buildings on the other side of the river and bb asked "What are those buildings?" and I said "I don't know". "Well, dear, make it up." she replied. So I did and then I put her in a cab, waved and felt as though a little bit of me had gone back to Tuvalu.

opening, closing, opening

I have spent the evening transferring my Google Reader subscriptions to The Old Reader - I know I could have imported them all at once but it was an opportunity to think about what I am reading. Sometimes it is good to let go, to acknowledge that  your life has moved on over the years and what you want to read will have changed too.

I also bid farewell to bloggers I followed that have stopped posting over the years. Thank you for your posts - they were opportunities for me to meet people and see places that I would not otherwise have had.

But mostly I felt overwhelming gratitude to all of my amazing blog friends who continue to post and enrich my life with their experiences. Thank you - all of you - you're lovely.

what she said

MrsM is absolutely delighted to have a short story published in issue 15 of Oh Comely. The whole magazine looks fabulous and will be in a WH Smith near you very soon - buy it just to read the alphabet spaghetti poem.

MrsM gets her contributor copy of the magazine, finds her own article which is one of a series of three stories paired with spare and beautiful photographs and immediately shows it to colleagues at work. A colleague, who shall not be identified but fortunately does not read this blog, read the story and then passed back the magazine saying "You do realise it is a very gendered piece of writing. Only a woman of a certain age would write that." MrsM did not know how to reply.

Later, MrsM did what she always does in situations like this, she told MissM who was shocked. "You didn't allow yourself to be patronised did you? Of course it is gendered writing - you were writing to a specific brief for a women's magazine about three women. It wasn't an academic treatise about, for example, footbridges. You would be really cross if someone said that to me so you shouldn't accept it as a valid criticism of your own writing. I'm afraid it sounds rather socially inept."

MrsM thought about it again and realised that MissM was right - that the comment said more about the person than her writing and she laughed. And at that moment she started to feel like a real writer.

***

My purpose in writing this post is to demonstrate that it is foolish and unrealistic to see every comment as searing insight into your work and you should only absorb comments which help you improve your work in future. This is true for all forms of creative output.

We built a community

apron by Gina

Let's look back to the very beginning of Blogland
a time when blogs were basic,
formatting sometimes went awry,
photographs were occasionally out of focus
but we were all learning together.

quilt by Tracy

Every day we would hang out
in each other's comment boxes,
enjoying Emma's new baby,
the fact that Ali was learning to knit,
Val was balancing work and home
and I had just started a new job.

basket by Val

Fast-forward five years...
we have developed in different ways
but we are all still here,
our friendship based on shared experience
and a respect for each others achievements.
It is a true community.

blanket by Lucy

And now out of that community
has come something truly extraordinary:
The Red Nose Day Dolls
a fundraising project
created by Emma and Ros...
and a list of craftswomen
that grows longer every day.

shawl by Annie

Red Nose Day dolls
Read all about them
Follow them on twitter
Donate to the project
Bid for them on eBay

clothes by Julie

They are raising money for Comic Relief
which works to transform lives in Africa
and closer to home in the UK.

But it is more than that...
this is a community of women
offering their time, their skills,
wanting to be part of a collaborative project.
I am in awe of what we created back then
with our blogs, our comments and emails,
our willingness to share our lives.

I'm so very proud of you all.

*****

images:
I have borrowed these images
from the Red Nose Day blog.
Emma and Ros, I hope you don't mind,
I would have preferred to ask permission
so let me know if there is a problem.

best foot forward

A long time ago I met Ali for the first time
and we went to Persephone Books
where we met Kristina and adopted her.

And then I met Val, Emma and Monica,
Tracy, Tess and Penny

And later still I met Nancy, Julie and Sue.

And here they all are,
after lunch on Saturday,
wearing the most beautiful socks
all knitted by Kristina.

This is the very special community
of women who share their lives
through blogs, facebook and twitter.
It is only part of the community
because if you were not there
I wish you could have been.

Tomorrow I want to say more
about our community of bloggers
and what it has achieved
but for now I just want to say

"Thank you, Tracy, for a fabulous day".

Five Years

We are eating strawberries again
and the paeonies are flowering
which are reminders of 7 June 2007
when I started blogging.

I can vividly remember the planning,
the excitement of the first post,
and the sensation of being overwhelmed
by a powerful torrent of words.

Blogging has brought me so much more
than I could have imagined when I started.
It has been a privilege to meet you all
and read your stories on your own blogs
and enjoy your generous comments here.

Today I would like to thank MrM
for his continuing support for this blog,
for patiently accepting his central role,
and for his hundreds of comments.
(Well...almost all of his comments)
It would be nothing without him.

Fingers and Toes

Here is a photograph
of the scrumptious little MasterA
wearing the jumper wot I knit.

Gaze upon it,
admire those chubby little fingers
and chat amongst yourselves
while I write grateful replies
to the astonishing and moving comments
that I received yesterday.

Retrospective

Even though I have been writing for over four years
I can remember most of my posts
and so I thought that
it would be easy to do the archive meme
that I saw first on Useful or Beautiful.
I was wrong. It is very difficult.

1.
What is your most popular post?
Yardangs
by a country mile...
but I suspect that the Geologists who arrive
looking for a technical discussion of yardangs
are bitterly disappointed.

2.
Which post's success surprised you most?
Zen and the Art of Making Porridge
I wrote it because I was so busy
that I couldn't think
of anything else to write about.

3.
Which post are you proudest of?
A Humble Beginning
I created the whole of the Magpie Files
in my head before I started
and then I wrote it down,
day by day, for two years.
This is the post where I set out my stall.

As for the other categories...

What is your most beautiful post?
What is your most controversial post?
What is your most helpful post?
Which of your post do you feel
didn't get the attention it deserved?

...I have no idea.

I feel that it is an enormous privilege
to have so many loyal readers and friends.
There is not much controversy in my writing
and certainly no mouthwatering recipes,
inspirational knitting or sewing.
book reviews or beautiful photography.
I sometimes think that all of my posts
get more attention than they deserve
but I write on. Thank you for reading.

The thing that I would love to know
is which was the very first post that you read
on The Magpie Files
or ...the sight of morning...

Receiving Visitors

Welcome to my visitors from the Decor8 online course "Blogging Your Way" - I am flattered to be included ... thank you to whoever recommended this blog.

My only tip to new writers is to look at other blogs and see the wonderful variety of writing styles and this should make you feel more confident as you start to create your own written space. The best resource on this blog is the blog roll in the side bar. So many fascinating blogs, friends who write passionately about their families and jobs, the worlds that they live in and the challenges that they face.

Let us dip into some of them...

these are my friends writing about their sons:

picking blackberries

birthday boy

happiness

Toby

14 September

undertow

middle

and this is me writing about my son:

beetroot

Each of us writes about our son in a different way - this will partly be determined by their age and by the boundaries that we have set to protect their privacy but in every case it is our love that makes the writing shine and ensures that the words remain in the memory of the reader.

Good luck with your own writing!

among trees

Today I am thinking of
Alicia and Andy
as they travel across America.

Alicia has been a source of inspiration
ever since I started blogging...
she has shared their life,
the happiness and the sadness of it,
with insight and honesty
and her voice is always true and warm.

May this be
just the beginning
of their journey.

Trivial Pursuits

It's Wednesday.
I am brain dead already.
I am disappointed with myself.

We could discuss 'One Day'
and Anne Hathaway's boots
(Scot, I thought of you)
but I haven't got the energy.
Shall we just look at sugar-pink dahlias?

In other news...
MissM has new Peridot nail polish.
It's green! It's gold!

I am going to a tea party on Thursday...
is there a cake making fairy out there?
If not, I'm going to have to get up early.

Oh...and could someone select my spring bulbs
there is far too much choice.

Shall we not talk about
the anxious call from MissM's granny...
offering to buy a hockey stick...

*****

Thank you so much for your response
on the Student Finance post.
You realised that it was a joke
and made MissM laugh
with your comments.

wish you were here too

I went to Kew today
with Kristina and Tracy
and we had a lovely day
walking in the sunshine.

We talked about all our friends:
Ali, Monica, Val, Gina
Emma, Driftwood,Diana,
Coffee Lady, Helen, Jackie,
Cathy, Lucille, Amaranthine,
Pomona, Trash, Rachel and Sue;

we thought of Nancy in France
getting ready for her wedding

and we remembered friends far away
Mary, Tracey, fifi, Suse,
RW, Lynn, Eleanor,
bb, Paola, Scot, Christy
Zephyr, Kathe, Bobby, Ginnie,
Ellen, Readersguide and Baa-Me knits

Aaaarrrghh...why did nobody mention
that I had missed JEN off the list???

and all you lovely people
who leave comments without email addresses
Toffeeapple, Janine, Jane Gray,
Lilli, Amy, Laura,
Melanie, Iris, Ruth,
planetcoops and Hairy Puffball

and we wished you could all be with us
(except Nancy who needs to be in France)
xxx

*****

Please forgive me
if I have missed your name
you were with us too!

I plan to put links to all of your blogs
but I have run out of time tonight.

The Blogger's Dilemma

I have been fortunate over the past four years: I have written what I wanted to write, my family have permitted me to write about them and encouraged me when I have faltered and my readers have contributed their own dazzling array of comments. I have made good friends and the correspondence has continued by email and on rare but precious occasions by actually meeting up.

I rarely get genuinely anonymous comments – they are mainly MrM trying to avoid responsibility for a lurid pun and these get deleted immediately.

I would like to put the following recent anonymous comments forward for your consideration:

"Yes your children are brighter than all of our dim wits. Obviously. Apparently destined for heights ours cannot even dream of. The shame of having ordinary children."

"Such boasting is upsetting to us and our children - have you thought of that? Why do we have to think it is ok to have inplied (sic) critisism at us but not for it to be returned? "

I would have hoped that it was obvious to anyone who has read this blog that every family, and ours is no exception, has ups and downs. I choose not to discuss difficult family issues in a public forum and I have made this clear on a number of occasions. As a result I still have permission from my family to write about them and I try hard not to push the boundaries of that permission.

My view is that anonymous comments like these – presumably by the same person – do not have a place on this blog. I assume that the anonymous writer feels they have the right to write whatever they want in this public space but it is my blog and I choose what gets published. If that person wishes to discuss the perceived inadequacies of their children they should do so on their own blog.

The saddest thing about these comments is that there is no such thing as an “ordinary child” –every single one of them has extraordinary gifts that make them special and it is the responsibility of the parent to help their child discover those gifts and celebrate them.

This is Fear and I am Afraid

I don't republish posts very often
but today it seemed appropriate.

*****

Ms. Eurolush is coming to London - what could be nicer than meeting her?
MrsM emails her and tentatively suggests it.

Ms. Eurolush:
I appreciate you offering to take time from your weekend to meet up. I know how much you value your quiet time away from work. You are a busy girl!... Of course, I've already prematurely bragged several times to Mary and Eleanor about the possibility. A lot is at stake here!

MrsM ponders this. She has met Ali and Kristina without incident. She has spent a whole day with Val, Tracey and Monica. She has met Tracey from Australia. She has even met blog husbands. They have all been completely normal, delightful people.

Ms. Eurolush:
Have I scared you with the idea of bringing what amounts to nearly my entire extended family along? Are you regretting your proposal? Are you rubbing your temples at this very minute, sighing out loud and rocking back and forth? I do have that effect on people, you know

How did Ms. Eurolush know?
Is she psychic?
MrsM emails back and tries to manage expectations.
"I am normal - I hope you won't be disappointed"

Ms. Eurolush:
If anyone should FEAR meeting up, it is I. Little do you know how mousy and quiet I am. I stutter when I speak and am terribly wall-eyed. (This means while one eye looks your way, the other wanders off to monitor those around me.) I snort quite often. I have a strange habit of unconsciously twirling a single piece of my hair over and over and over--until it stands perfectly rigid on the top of my head, like some sort of hair-antennae. I should probably also mention the fidgeting. What else? The inappropriate and ill-timed giggle fits? How easily I am distracted by pigeons and gravel? That I carry a smoking pipe clenched between my teeth at all times? That I wear a monocle? That when I do speak my voice is a deep baritone? That every sentence I utter begins with, "In my humble opinion..."

MrsM considers her options.
She is committed to this expedition.
She discusses it with MrM.
"Do you think you will be safe?" he says
"I think she is just enthusiastic" says MrsM doubtfully

Ms. Eurolush:
Of course, I plan to be furiously taking notes the whole time we're together...detailed descriptions of you and your many unconscious habits and tics. Hope that doesn't distract you. I may also be making rough sketches of you in my sketch book. Just plan on sitting very still while we chat. I am meticulous with my doodling.

MrsM has an idea.
She can take MissM.
Nobody messes with MissM.

Ms. Eurolush:
We are extremely flexible with our schedule. If something doesn't work for you...we can always meet somewhere else...in London...at a different time...for dinner...lunch...breakfast...snacktime...teatime. All of them. Maybe we'll just all show up at your door instead. That would make this whole thing so much easier, don't you think? You wouldn't mind seven house guests at the last minute, would you?

MrsM decides what to wear.
It will be cold.
She plans to wear something warm.

Ms. Eurolush:
I plan to wear a red coat. But I may have a change of mind and wear a black coat, instead. As you can see, I'm unpredictable. It will be a mystery. Who knows what color coat I shall wear?

MrsM goes out to the late night chemist for some tranquilisers

Ms. Eurolush:
I'm shy, too! What will we do? I foresee lots of awkward pauses...nervous laughter...profuse sweating...and painfully little eye-contact.

Perhaps a "dance-off" would lesson the tension??

YES!!

Bring your best moves...'cause it's on!!!

So...
today is the Big Day.
If I don't return please send out a search party.

Original Post

*****

Thank you for the laughter, Ms. Eurolush.
Wishing you a safe journey to your new home
and wonderful times there with your family.
Come back and visit soon...
I am keeping a mushroomed shaped space
on my sofa just for you.
XOX

Blog Award!

Consecration of the Emperor Napoleon I
and Coronation of the Empress Josephine
in the Cathedral of Notre-Dame de Paris
on 2 December 1804
Jacques-Louis David.

Nomination

Ahhh Mrs M
I have often thought this
but feel today is the day to mention it

You Have The Best Commenters In Blogland

from yesterday's Comment Box
Thank you, Jules!

Acceptance Speech

I am proud to accept this award
on behalf of you all,
The Best Commenters In Blogland.

I am amazed that you turn up day after day
and make your Comment Box
a place of such laughter, friendship,
information and compassionate insight.

Thank you to each and every reader
who has commented and made me smile.

(Even MrM, who has been temporarily grounded
after recent attempts to incite censorship.)

Micro-blogging

MasterM changes his profile picture regularly
and it is a cryptic form of micro-blogging.

Some pictures are obvious:
Geoffrey the house duck...

some are time limited:
the Football World Cup...

some are puzzling:

and some are just worrying.

I spent last night setting up a Twitter account.
It took ages to load my profile picture
but when I saw my little blue lady
who has travelled with me for four years
I felt as though I had arrived.

I am learning as I go along
but you are welcome to join me...

@MrsM_lite

these things made me smile...

1.
a bouquet of lilies and roses from MrM
because he always remembers the day
that he first met MrsM

2.
MissM, sweet in her grey wool beret

3.
Prince Harry in a china blue check shirt
filling his car up with petrol
at the local garage

4.
a council worker, perched on a ladder,
solemnly cleaning the bus stop sign

5.
an email from Rhiannon,
baking goddess and music buddy

6.
Kim and Louise, postgraduates,
who bring me biscuits at coffee time

7.
the academic who is now 41 and a half
and loves to drive fast cars

8.
spotting my photos in the proof copy
of the Spain field trip poster

9.
the academic who describes the renovation
of his house in Normandy
so that I feel that I am there too,
planting the vines

10.
sharp, sharp green aftershave
in the corridor outside my office

11.
the bustle and noise of Department tours
with prospective students and their parents
anxiously peering into my office
as they walk by

12.
fluorescent shimmer on wet pavements
and a light grey evening sky

13.
...and my work blog
Living with Geographers
has been archived by the British Library...

you will recognise all of the posts
but I hope it makes you smile too...

Awayday

Don't be jealous...

I met up with Val!
and Gina!
and Emma!

I know what you are going to ask!!
What did we talk about?
Crafts?
Science?
World Peace?

I have no idea...
I completely ignored
Val, Gina and Emma
because I was entranced
by the tiny Miss SilverPebble
in her flowery dungarees.

And afterwards I realised
that I have become very slack
about taking blog photos
so I had to go and chat up
the lovely man on the pastry stall
and persuade him to let me take some photos
so that I would have some evidence
that I spent the day in Cambridge.

And then, obviously, I had to buy
a pear danish pastry
for my supper

Alas...it did not survive the journey home
Just as well I took the photos before I left.

Thank you Val, Gina and Emma
it was so lovely to see you all again.

Each Peach Pear Plum

Once upon a time
I did not know about pumpkins at Halloween
or pecan pie at Thanksgiving
or even if there were clementines
in the wild Mid West
but now I have friends
in every corner of the United States.

Allison in New England

Jen in the Mid West

Lynn in the Ozarks

Sarah in Maryland

Christina in a College Town
and Christy at the edge of a chalk board

Quinn, farmer, photographer, Geographer

bb in Tuvalu

Eurolush, American abroad

Kathe on the edge of the Chesapeake

Breadbox somewhere hot

And all of you
who visit and leave such friendly messages
with laughter, insight and encouragement.

Thank you

MrsM phones Tuvalu

MrsM has led a sheltered life.

If she needs to make a phone call
there is someone who will do it for her
(MrM)
If she needs to send a text
there is someone who will do it for her
(MrM)
If she really needs to make a phone call herself
there is someone to dial the number
(MrM)

but now...
imagine the tragic situation...
MrsM is all by herself...
and she desperately wants to phone bb...
because there is important news she wants to share
but she can't seem to get through...
and that would be because...
MrsM does not know the dialling code for Tuvalu...
because she has never, ever dialled it herself.

MrsM hangs her head in shame.
Think of all those burned bras
to achieve freedom and independence.
What a shocking waste.

(and then...when MrsM finally gets through
bb has a mouthful of guacamole
but because MrsM is English
she is far too polite to notice.)

Truly, it was a memorable night.

*****

I have said it before
but now is a good time to say it again...
I would not have started writing
without encouragement from bb
who has commented from the very beginning.