The Return of MasterM

MrM
So let me get this straight...
You want to come home for 7 days in June
and then go to Madeira for the marlin fishing
and then fly to Dar-Es-Salaam.

MasterM
Sounds about right.

MrM
Just remind me why
you are going to Dar-Es-Salaam?

MasterM
I have sorted a holiday job
in a game reserve in Tanzania.

MrM
I don't think there are many direct flights
from Madeira to Dar-Es-Salaam.

MasterM
Really?
Well, I am sure that Lydia
will be able to sort out an itinerary.
Oh, and by the way
could I have my June allowance early...
I am down to my last coins.
Thanks!!!

MrM and MrsM try not to smile
but it is very, very, very difficult.

Windswept Roses

MrsM is disturbed to realise
that she has been talking to her plants.
Not reassuring gentle murmurs
but bracing managment-speak.

"Well done, Blue Violas, you have performed well over the past two weeks and I am going to relocate you to a more prestigious position. Agapanthus, all of the other plants are growing faster than you - I am disappointed with your attitude - you are going to be down graded. Blue Thrift, I am impressed by the way that you have overcome a difficult start and worked hard to achieve your potential. OK Geranium, what's with the colour? - you claimed to be salmon pink but you are carmine - this has had a negative effect on the team dynamic. Pink Dianthus, you have made a significant contribution but I am afraid that you are going to be retired now. Cream Fuschia, how can I enable you to maximise your effort over the next three weeks?"

MrsM decides that she needs
to learn to disengage.
Work is work
and home is home.
And if you get the two confused
you will hear the neighbours laughing at you.

Thursday Evening

Tonight I am grateful for:

a sweet email from MissM
an hour with friends in the pub
a message from MasterM who has not got mumps
an ipod that was rescued from apparent collapse
a husband who makes me laugh
an evening looking through photos
the prospect of the long weekend ahead
and the end of a frantic week.

That's all - but it is enough.

Blueberry Sour Cream Cake

The Deputy Exams Officer comes into MrsM's office
He is anxious.

"I think we have to face up to the fact
that things are hotting up.
We are working to a very tight timetable
and I am not convinced
that we can make the deadline."

MrsM tries to be reassuring

"Trust me...I have a cunning plan...
I started with Stage 1 nutritious cake
and then it was Stage 2 carrot cake
and I don't think he noticed the icing.
Now we are at Stage 3..."

The Deputy Exams Officer looks puzzled

"What is a Stage 3 cake?"

MrsM points to the cake on the filing cabinet

"Blueberry Sour Cream Cake.
A cake shaped cake
and a proper cake plate.
But it has blueberries
which contain high levels of
manganese
vitamin B6
vitamin C
vitamin K
pterostilbene
anthocyanins
proanthocyanidins
resveratrol and flavonols.
So The Exams Officer will think it is a health food."

The Deputy Exams Officer relaxes...
he knows that the finishing line is in sight.

Views from the Boboli Gardens

I had forgotten how huge the Boboli Gardens are.

It is easy to lose your bearings
among the dark cypress walks.

There are no intimate spaces
and no lush plantings;
it is a world of statuary and gravel paths,
opaque water and clipped hedges.

It is a garden to promenade in,
to be impressed by,
to be seen in.

When I visited as a child
I saw only the interior space:
the obelisk, fountains and grand staircases

but now I look outwards to the city,
to the Duomo and the Baptistery,
and beyond to the Apennine mountains
and I understand the bold design of the garden.

It is essential to continually challenge
your understanding of the world around you
and travel offers that opportunity.
There is no more appropriate place than Florence
to observe, to enquire, to explore
and to discover a sense of perspective.

Vintage Chick

Oh dear, oh dear...
I feel racked with guilt...
I should have explained that losing those photos
was not a disaster at all

and I am afraid that,
after an initial horrorstruck moment,
I did laugh a lot.

I don't take many photos
and on Saturday morning
it was taking me a while to get my eye in.
The photos that flashed before me
were absolutely terrible.

The only ones that I regretted losing
were a collection of photos
of exquisitely displayed fruit and vegetables.

Here is a vintage clothes shop
from later that morning
which was the first stop
on MissM's Grand Tour of Florence.

Seriously, MissM knows all the best shops
and she has only been there two weeks.

I went to Florence and...

I saw the Ponte Vecchio at sunset...

and I appreciated culture...

and I went to the Covered Market...

and I saw a policeman on a stegway
(this one is for you, bb)

and I enjoyed the not-so-cultural...

and I missed MasterM...

and I ate ice cream at midnight with MissM...

and I accidentally deleted 246 photos.

Don't laugh.

This is Fear and I am Afraid

I don't republish posts very often
but today it seemed appropriate.

*****

Ms. Eurolush is coming to London - what could be nicer than meeting her?
MrsM emails her and tentatively suggests it.

Ms. Eurolush:
I appreciate you offering to take time from your weekend to meet up. I know how much you value your quiet time away from work. You are a busy girl!... Of course, I've already prematurely bragged several times to Mary and Eleanor about the possibility. A lot is at stake here!

MrsM ponders this. She has met Ali and Kristina without incident. She has spent a whole day with Val, Tracey and Monica. She has met Tracey from Australia. She has even met blog husbands. They have all been completely normal, delightful people.

Ms. Eurolush:
Have I scared you with the idea of bringing what amounts to nearly my entire extended family along? Are you regretting your proposal? Are you rubbing your temples at this very minute, sighing out loud and rocking back and forth? I do have that effect on people, you know

How did Ms. Eurolush know?
Is she psychic?
MrsM emails back and tries to manage expectations.
"I am normal - I hope you won't be disappointed"

Ms. Eurolush:
If anyone should FEAR meeting up, it is I. Little do you know how mousy and quiet I am. I stutter when I speak and am terribly wall-eyed. (This means while one eye looks your way, the other wanders off to monitor those around me.) I snort quite often. I have a strange habit of unconsciously twirling a single piece of my hair over and over and over--until it stands perfectly rigid on the top of my head, like some sort of hair-antennae. I should probably also mention the fidgeting. What else? The inappropriate and ill-timed giggle fits? How easily I am distracted by pigeons and gravel? That I carry a smoking pipe clenched between my teeth at all times? That I wear a monocle? That when I do speak my voice is a deep baritone? That every sentence I utter begins with, "In my humble opinion..."

MrsM considers her options.
She is committed to this expedition.
She discusses it with MrM.
"Do you think you will be safe?" he says
"I think she is just enthusiastic" says MrsM doubtfully

Ms. Eurolush:
Of course, I plan to be furiously taking notes the whole time we're together...detailed descriptions of you and your many unconscious habits and tics. Hope that doesn't distract you. I may also be making rough sketches of you in my sketch book. Just plan on sitting very still while we chat. I am meticulous with my doodling.

MrsM has an idea.
She can take MissM.
Nobody messes with MissM.

Ms. Eurolush:
We are extremely flexible with our schedule. If something doesn't work for you...we can always meet somewhere else...in London...at a different time...for dinner...lunch...breakfast...snacktime...teatime. All of them. Maybe we'll just all show up at your door instead. That would make this whole thing so much easier, don't you think? You wouldn't mind seven house guests at the last minute, would you?

MrsM decides what to wear.
It will be cold.
She plans to wear something warm.

Ms. Eurolush:
I plan to wear a red coat. But I may have a change of mind and wear a black coat, instead. As you can see, I'm unpredictable. It will be a mystery. Who knows what color coat I shall wear?

MrsM goes out to the late night chemist for some tranquilisers

Ms. Eurolush:
I'm shy, too! What will we do? I foresee lots of awkward pauses...nervous laughter...profuse sweating...and painfully little eye-contact.

Perhaps a "dance-off" would lesson the tension??

YES!!

Bring your best moves...'cause it's on!!!

So...
today is the Big Day.
If I don't return please send out a search party.

Original Post

*****

Thank you for the laughter, Ms. Eurolush.
Wishing you a safe journey to your new home
and wonderful times there with your family.
Come back and visit soon...
I am keeping a mushroomed shaped space
on my sofa just for you.
XOX

a garden, imagined

Dear Alice,

If this is the
'Humble Administrator's Garden'
imagine what the
'Departmental Administrator's Garden'
would look like!

Best Wishes
The Enthusiastic Professor

MissM : update

7.15pm Tuesday evening

"Here is another photo for you..."

Day by day
the photos arrive in my inbox
and I can see that
MissM is falling in love with Florence.

I suspect that it is a love affair
that will last a lifetime.