Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Five go to Skyfall


Julian
Dick, go ahead with Anne
through the secret passage
and out onto the moor.
Don't use your torch,
that's a beginner's mistake,
the baddies will see you
and shoot Anne.

Anne
I'm afraid
because I have the body
of a feeble woman.
Also, I'm wearing a skirt.

Dick
It's not a skirt, it's a kilt,
but we all understand,
fieldwork is not for everyone.

What shall I do next?

Julian
Go to the old chapel.
In the meantime
I will fend off the baddies
armed only with cherry cake
and ginger pop bottles.

George
I will send Timmy the dog
to show you the way
through the dangerous bog.

Julian
But what about me?
How will I find the way
when I need to escape?

George
Don't be a cissy, Julian.
There will be plenty of light
to see your way across the moor
when the house is ablaze.

Mwahaha...
Welcome to Scotland.

8 comments:

  1. "Don't use your torch, that's a beginner's mistake"....... those words had me roaring with laughter. Thank you Alice.

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  2. Oh, that's fab. I love the cross-generational sexism.

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  3. I loved the Five as a kid!

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  4. My favorite is . . . "there will be plenty of light . . . when the house is ablaze"! How thoughtful! And I laughed out loud at fending off the baddies with cherry cake and ginger pop bottles! What devastating weapons! Thanks for the smiles!

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  5. Very clever. I didn't spot the title when I first read it..

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  6. Lashings of ginger beer. Shaken not stirred.

    You are a genius M.

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  7. I always knew George was the only one with any brains.

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