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Julian
Dick, go ahead with Anne
through the secret passage
and out onto the moor.
Don't use your torch,
that's a beginner's mistake,
the baddies will see you
and shoot Anne.
Anne
I'm afraid
because I have the body
of a feeble woman.
Also, I'm wearing a skirt.
Dick
It's not a skirt, it's a kilt,
but we all understand,
fieldwork is not for everyone.
What shall I do next?
Julian
Go to the old chapel.
In the meantime
I will fend off the baddies
armed only with cherry cake
and ginger pop bottles.
George
I will send Timmy the dog
to show you the way
through the dangerous bog.
Julian
But what about me?
How will I find the way
when I need to escape?
George
Don't be a cissy, Julian.
There will be plenty of light
to see your way across the moor
when the house is ablaze.
Mwahaha...
Welcome to Scotland.
Dick, go ahead with Anne
through the secret passage
and out onto the moor.
Don't use your torch,
that's a beginner's mistake,
the baddies will see you
and shoot Anne.
Anne
I'm afraid
because I have the body
of a feeble woman.
Also, I'm wearing a skirt.
Dick
It's not a skirt, it's a kilt,
but we all understand,
fieldwork is not for everyone.
What shall I do next?
Julian
Go to the old chapel.
In the meantime
I will fend off the baddies
armed only with cherry cake
and ginger pop bottles.
George
I will send Timmy the dog
to show you the way
through the dangerous bog.
Julian
But what about me?
How will I find the way
when I need to escape?
George
Don't be a cissy, Julian.
There will be plenty of light
to see your way across the moor
when the house is ablaze.
Mwahaha...
Welcome to Scotland.
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"Don't use your torch, that's a beginner's mistake"....... those words had me roaring with laughter. Thank you Alice.
ReplyDeleteOh, that's fab. I love the cross-generational sexism.
ReplyDeleteI loved the Five as a kid!
ReplyDeleteI'm lost!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is . . . "there will be plenty of light . . . when the house is ablaze"! How thoughtful! And I laughed out loud at fending off the baddies with cherry cake and ginger pop bottles! What devastating weapons! Thanks for the smiles!
ReplyDeleteVery clever. I didn't spot the title when I first read it..
ReplyDeleteI always knew George was the only one with any brains.
ReplyDelete