(just for the record)

MrsM attends her first 'Occasion'.

1.
The venue is very grand:
sweeping staircase - check
chandeliers - check
ceiling moulding - check.

2.
Preparations involve WD40.
The door hinges do not squeak
but the room smells pleasantly like a shed.

3.
MrsM's new manager is distraught.
She points to the speakers' chairs
and says "But I wanted ARMCHAIRS".
MrsM looks at the chairs with arms
and retreats tactfully to a safe distance.

4.
Intense discussions with the nice A/V man.
MrsM resists temptation to say
"Yes.
Whatever it was you suggested.
I don't understand
but I am sure you know
what you are talking about."

5.
The Chair of the debate has not arrived.
The Director looks anxious - he is the understudy.

6.
*Bizarre Interlude*
A lady dressed head to toe in bright pink
wanders in from the street
"because it is warmer in here".
Pink Lady starts to discuss in detail
her Hindu Pagan beliefs.
The no-nonsense Australian colleague
politely escorts Pink Lady back to street.
*****

7.
The two Eminent Speakers
try earnestly and politely
to disagree. And fail.

8.
MrsM is handed a roving microphone
Panic!
MrsM does not know how to turn it on.
The questions are on the other side of the room.
Relief!

9.
Significant quantities of savoury snacks
are carried straight past MrsM.
MrsM notes she must work harder
at networking in the kitchen.

10.
MrsM escorts a very elegant elderly lady
in the disabled lift.
It has a reputation for being temperamental.
MrsM prays hard all the way
and arrives safely.

11.
MrsM is very, very glad
she does not have to wash up the wine glasses.
There are a lot.

12.
At the end of the day
MrM is waiting outside
and walks along Pall Mall with MrsM
to a smart dinner.
Which is very nice.