a flounce of camellias

You must imagine the Spring flower show
on the sheltered lawns of Boconnoc House

I am walking as fast as possible
past the show tents full of daffodils:
“Carlton, Cheerfulness, Golden Ducat,
Ice Follies, Pheasant’s Eye, White Lion”

Past floral arrangements inspired by Constance Spry
“Your choice of lilac roses
has created a charming centrepiece
which evokes her work perfectly.
Well done!”

Away from a seething food marquee
where organic pork burgers are sizzling
next to high quality ice-creams
“Which flavour would you like…
blueberry cheesecake or millionaires’ shortbread?”

And on past countless chocolate Labradors,
the creaking trestle tables of the plant crèche
and eager St. John’s Ambulance volunteers
hoping for an emergency

Here I am in the granite and slate stable yard
where prize winners are clutching their cups
and being shocked into smiling for the camera
“everyone look this way NOW...
Say SAUSAGES!!!”

I am before the display of camellias,
single blooms arranged in rows,
the soft colours and elegance of form
emphasised by the plain black cloth.

And you must imagine it all
because I only have eight photos
before my camera battery dies
and you have just seen them...

Tea in the Garden

I have all sorts of things to show you...
make yourself comfortable
and let me pour you a cup of tea...

Help yourself
to one of the world famous scones
from the Arundell Arms at Lifton...

And some clotted cream...

Shall we start with the camellias?

*****

Thank you for all your lovely comments.
I had no internet access last week
which scuppered my plans
to catch up with my email.
I am on the case.

Postcard from Cornwall

MrsM
I didn't bring any suncream with me.

MissM
Why would you?
This is Cornwall in April...
it should be raining.

MrsM
Are you sure that you are not getting too hot?

MissM
I'm not going to lie...
it feels a bit weird
sunbathing in wellies.

The Great Mango Smoothie Disaster

I had a short but passionate affair with smoothies
which ended abruptly one Friday lunchtime...

lessons learned:

1.
shake smoothie with lid ON
2.
if planning to cover oneself
in bright yellow mango smoothie
choose Friday because it is quietest day
3.
keep bumper pack of wet wipes
in office at all times
4.
do not wear cashmere
when drinking mango smoothies
5.
do not wear dry clean only skirt
when drinking mango smoothies
6.
be familiar with quickest exit to car park
7.
ignore people staring at you...
pretend you are installation art
8.
black suede reviver is excellent product
9.
you CAN wash and dry your hair
in less than 20 minutes
10.
air freshener will remove toxic smell...
eventually
11.
keyboards can be replaced
12.
there is no disaster so great
that the human spirit cannot recover...
eventually.

it is a metaphor for life, no?

*****

off to Cornwall tomorrow
(planning to sleep for a week)

Shopping with MrM

MissM
Can we have heated rear seats
in the new car?

MrM
No.

MissM
Please. Please. Please.
It is really nice if you are cold.

MrM
No.

MissM
What happens if we are really cold.
And wet.
And we don't have a blanket?

MrM
Have you completely forgotten
what happened the last time
we had heated seats in a car?
MasterM used to wait until you were asleep
and then he would switch them on
so that you had terrible dreams
and woke up roasting alive?

MissM
MasterM is a bit older now.

MrM
I bet he would still do it.

The road through Hlatikulu

When I was a little girl
I lived in Africa...
did I ever tell you that?

Swaziland is a tiny country
squeezed between
the vast space of South Africa
and the coast of Mozambique.

It doesn't feel very long ago to me
but it was another world,
before the end of apartheid
and before the ravages of Aids.

My father was a vet
and we lived in a one street town
in the middle of nowhere.

These pictures are from the
recently released photographic collection
of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office
shared on Flickr by the National Archive (UK)

and they bring back vivid memories
of those happy, far away times.


Africa through a lens

L'après-déjeuner

Siesta, Interior at Nice
Henri Matisse (1869 - 1954)

All day long I stare
at the wire trays
and the year planner
and the filing cabinets
and the lever arch files
and the neatly arranged noticeboard.

The sun streams through the louvred windows
and the sounds of spring leak into my office:
the chatter of magpies, the rattle of mowers,
the murmur of students sitting on newly cut grass.

When I go home I soak myself
with pictures of magnolias
and give thanks that other people
have been to Kew in March
when I could not go.

Joining the Twitterati

Bird
William Morris (1878)

MrsM interviews herself!

1.
Why did you decide to start using Twitter?
MrsM says:
My sister-in-law has
a two year old and a baby.
If she can do it so can I.

2.
Is it easy to start?
MrsM says:
I'm not going to lie...
I typed "How to use Twitter" into Google

3.
What is the most difficult bit?
MrsM says:
Thinking of a name.
It took a bag and a half of Maltesers
to come up with MrsM_lite

4.
What is a hash tag?
MrsM says:
No idea.
Sounds edible but unpleasant
Do I need to know?

5.
Twitter is trivial stuff about everyday life.
Discuss.
MrsM says:
I blog.
I do that already.
What's new?

6.
The best bit about Twitter?
MrsM says:
You get to share Coffee Lady's life in real time.

7.
The worst bit about Twitter?
MrsM says:
TheListWriter is funnier than me.

8.
Why bother unless there is a revolution?
MrsM says:
Listen up!
The revolution has reached F&M.
People like me need to be ready.

The Auld Triangle...

went jingle, jangle**

**from the lyrics by Dominic Behan
for the play 'The Quare Fellow'
written by his brother, Brendan.

To get the full effect
you have to imagine thousands of fans
in full Paddy's Day regalia
waving flags and cheering wildly
at every jingle
and every jangle.

Micro-blogging

MasterM changes his profile picture regularly
and it is a cryptic form of micro-blogging.

Some pictures are obvious:
Geoffrey the house duck...

some are time limited:
the Football World Cup...

some are puzzling:

and some are just worrying.

I spent last night setting up a Twitter account.
It took ages to load my profile picture
but when I saw my little blue lady
who has travelled with me for four years
I felt as though I had arrived.

I am learning as I go along
but you are welcome to join me...

@MrsM_lite