Wednesday, 31 July 2013

MrsM, Doom & Gloom Merchant


It was a good day for MrsM, purveyor of terrible but true stories about unusual accidents which have actually happened to someone who was either closely related to her or someone she knew personally.

In the morning MrsM was able to tell the world (via Knitsofacto) that flat irons are dangerous. This apparently alarmist statement is based on an incident when MrM stubbed his toe on a flat iron which was used as a doorstop, broke the toe and was incapacitated for a significant period of time. The world needed to be warned.

In the afternoon MrsM was part of a conversation at a supermarket till when arm wrestling was mentioned. MrsM could not let the opportunity pass to mention that not one but TWO young men that she knew on a first name basis had suffered disastrous breaks of their upper arms as a result of arm wrestling while inebriated. To ensure that the participants in the conversation understood the full gravity of the situation MrsM explained that in both cases there was a spiral break and nerve damage leading to long periods of rehabilitation and loss of motor function. It is safe to say that the participants in the conversation will not be arm wrestling.

In the evening MrsM told MissM that if MrM didn't stop talking about his new wifi enabled electric toothbrush with five brushing modes there would be a serious accident which would require attendance at the local A&E and would subsequently feature in her register of unusual incidents which have actually happened to someone who was closley related to her. MrM changed the subject.

19 comments:

  1. An internet-enabled toothbrush? Who knew?

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    1. I wondered if it could tune into the radio. Apparently not.

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  2. Does it bring you a cup of tea in bed?

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    1. It is a specialist piece of equipment which will have a shrine in the bathroom decorated with votive offerings of floss and mouthwash.

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  3. Now THAT is something I never heard of. WiFi toothbrush? How? Why?

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    Replies
    1. It enables a brushing management strategy to be monitored and rewarded. Apparently.

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  4. He'll probably be in the same A&E waiting-room as my husband who has just purchased a virtual pipe organ that won't talk to his computer. (If I've said 'I don't know why it doesn't (add appropriate question here) once, I've probably said it at least 50 times.)
    We would have to add getting an hit over the head by an audio interface box or attacked with assorted wiring to the unusual injury list.

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    1. Fix him with a steely glare and tell him that you are sure his granddaughter will be able to help next time she is visiting.

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  5. Replies
    1. It is the inalienable right of Man to purchase tools which are ridiculously over-specified.

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  6. Liz in Missouri, USAJuly 31, 2013

    LOLOLOLOLOL

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    Replies
    1. Some men buy sports cars but MrM has demonstrated how responsible he is by buying a top of the range toothbrush.

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  7. Mrs M, I am sure you know someone who had a dreadful housework related injury. Could you do me a favour and pass it on, please?

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    1. Hmmmm..WHERE to start?

      Housemaids' knee; Ironing Elbow; falling off ladders; allergic reaction to gloves/cleaning fluids/dust mites - I could go on.

      Please note I cannot honestly say that any of the above have affected me or my close family due to the lack of the housework gene which is carried on the x chromosome.

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  8. MrM is putting in a late plea of self defence by stupidity - I may possibly have overspec'd the floss requirement - bulk purchase of six pack of floss online may last me for a while. Am now looking for alternative uses for this. Any ideas out there ?

    Also MrsM can adding trying to pick up ultra hot dish of fried new potatoes (sp ?) at supper this evening immediately after providing a mat for said item.

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    Replies
    1. You could knit a couple of dish-cloths with the floss, think how clean the plates would get...

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    2. Let's just make something clear. I will NOT be knitting with dental floss.

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  9. Dear Mrs M, I am forever in your debt. I am now giving the flat iron doorstop a very wide berth. Should I be so unfortunate as to forget to do this one day I will be sure to report any injury, just in case you wish to start a register of unusual accidents which have actually happened to people you know via their blog.

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  10. Thank you, MrsM. I feel warned now and will not be ironing, arm-wrestling, or electronic toothbrushing, either. Phew.

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Thank you! I love reading your comments and even though I don't always have time to reply I am really grateful to every one who joins in the conversation.