Thursday, 24 September 2009

MasterM considers career options

MasterM had a long term relationship
with Hampton Court
and, unfortunately, it ended badly.

We have tickets for a special roof top tour
of Hampton Court.
You can't be serious.
I am really excited.

If you make me go up on the roof of Hampton Court
I will throw myself off
and end up splatted on the gravel
in front of the fountain.

(gloomy pause)

The only thing is I would probably fall on a signpost
and end up with 'Hampton Court' engraved upon my heart.

Don't worry - we would arrange for you
to be buried under the Great Vine
and maybe a requiem in the Chapel.

I would become a ghost and haunt the Maze.
so that people could not find their way out.
I might even become a specialist poltergeist
and move the hedges so that clever children
who think that they know the answer
get boxed in FOREVER.

In fact...

that is rather appealing...


  1. Just in time for Halloween. Perhaps he could do children's parties?

  2. We have a similar problem in our house - not with Hampton Court - but with preserved steam railways. All three of ours were introduced to the delights of steam in utero and have suffered a level of over-exposure which has put them off somewhat. Fortunately for Nigel I'm still happy to accompany him. For some odd reason the kids also have an aversion to shops dedicated to patchwork and quilting. Their plaintive cries of "Oh no! Not another fabric shop/railway*" (* delete as appropriate) can be heard on most holidays and trips. I feel my poor children have been burdened with parents with slight 'anorak' tendencies

  3. I can see why he would find it appealing!

  4. Don't worry. I'd be happy to come along instead! K x

  5. I went there so many times on school trips (I don't think we ever went anywhere else) that over 20 years later when I took the family for the first I remembered it all! But perhaps the chance to take a packed lunch and misbehave on the coach cancelled out any boredom factor - because in those days I don't think there was anything to see but empty rooms and a big garden (and the vine and the maze, of course). I found the maze rather frightening as a child, and it still stirred up feelings of anxiety when my children ventured in - I had to wait for them some distance away.

    Pomona x

  6. HE HE HE ...

  7. Okay, I have got to know what this vine thing is.
    Also, I particularly like Master M's idea about what to do with clever children who think they know the answer.

  8. Aha, research discloses that it is "the oldest known vine in the world." Gosh.

  9. That is just too funny! Despite being just down the road we've still only managed 4 trips there. Whenever I hear the words 'railway museum' I can't help but groan, thanks to one too many trips to Didcot and other minature railways. Cat x


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