Monday, 13 May 2013

Notes from the Lady Gardener

Welcome to the new Gardening Year!
I hope you are all going to try your hardest
and, with our support, flourish and make us proud.

Firstly, a round up of news for this week:
Well done to the Tree Paeonies
who have put on a splendid display in the last week.
A little bit disappointed with you, White Iris...
I think that you might not have been entirely frank
when you joined - we were expecting tall not small
so you will have to be moved where we can see you.
I am sorry about the cold temperatures
which are out of our control
but I hope you are all enjoying the mulch
which should keep you nice and cosy.

Right-oh, now let's look forward to next week:
We will shortly be joined by a lot of little Box plants,
I hope that you will make them feel welcome.
They are slow but work well as a team.
We are keeping our eye out for the roses
who have been a little bit shy this year.
And finally, the Paeony team - don't let us down!
I am going to be quite clear - I want garnet red flowers.
Any half hearted magenta rubbish from Karl Rosenfield
and you will be out of your place in the sun
and off to the end of the border.
Do I make myself clear?

A word of warning...
I want you all to be on the look out
for Bindweed and Ground Elder -
they are bad influences and we must be Vigilant.

And now for some exciting news from Estates!
The Wendy House has been removed
and consultations are underway to agree a replacement.
I am delighted to report that funding has been agreed
and the decisions are now at committee stage.

And finally can I remind you of our garden motto
"Videamus coalescit"
Remember it at all times.

You are dismissed.

7 comments:

  1. Gosh, the Lady Gardener is tough! Can't wait to hear of the decision re Wendy house replacement. If you think your committee isn't big enough, you could always post pictures and throw it open to Your Readership ;)

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  2. if I were you I would vote that the wendy house should be replaced by a summer house for the drinking of gin and tonics.

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  3. A Japanese summer-house sounds good. with Gin or Saké.

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  4. Liz in Missouri (USA)May 13, 2013

    May we invite the Lady Gardener to come on a speaking tour to the middle U.S. and throw some inspiration and fear into the lazy bedding plants?
    Thank you. We await a response!
    ;-)

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  5. Well if that doesn't tell them then nothing will.

    I'll now go and try this out on my plants....I feel I should say Sir or Ma'am at this point.

    Fingers crossed for a rousing response to this reveille for your summer display. xx

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  6. I can furnish the Lady Gardener with a willow rod suitable for poking and chastising errant plants, should such an item be required.

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