MrsM strolls nonchalantly into the designer sports wear shop as though she has been doing it all her life and holds informed conversation with lithe shop assistant wearing extreme lycra. Lithe shop assistant asks MrsM “What sort of runner are you?” MrsM wonders what she is talking about but replies confidently “Improving”. Lithe shop assistant says “Oh! I envy you! I have reached a performance plateau.” MrsM acknowledges this is a problem for all runners and makes gentle, encouraging noises. Lithe shop assistant recommends compression leggings for enhanced muscle tone and MrsM goes into the changing cubicle. The compression feature is significant. MrsM cannot get the leggings off. They are moulded to her legs like spray-on paint. MrsM is absolutely stuck in black spandex. MrsM hears the lithe shop assistant saying "How is the fit? Would you like the High Visibility version?" MrsM panics...there are three options: she can summon MrM from the nearby bookshop, she can ask for help or she can extricate herself. MrsM starts peeling. When MrsM eventually leaves the shop she swings the plastic bag ostentatiously. It was worth the pain because it has a picture of runners on the outside. MrsM plans to reuse it frequently.