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MrsM is going to Italy at the end of the week.
She has decided that her toes must look their best
and so she is reclining on plush towels,
breathing in the scent of ylang-ylang
and relaxing to the sound of whale birthing music.
Fulvia picks up the right foot,
sighs deeply and says
"Well, I will do what I can."
MrsM sits up straight
- which is very difficult on the slippery plush towels -
Her toes will never be those of a super model
but she does have regular pedicures.
She is outraged.
Fulvia says
"Do you do anything to your feet?"
MrsM has visions of flossing between her toes
and says wildly (and untruthfully)
that she moisturises regularly.
Fulvia says
"You should remove the dead skin every four days
and exfoliate regularly."
MrsM says with a light, tinkling laugh
"Goodness, you make me feel guilty."
Fulvia says
"Well, they are not the worst I have ever seen
because I have seen some terrible feet."
MrsM considers escape routes but
Fulvia has both feet in an iron grip.
Fulvia says
"I am surprised.
At least you can carry off this polish.
I thought that it would look quite anaemic."
MrsM is crushed.
She is a foot failure.
She has decided that her toes must look their best
and so she is reclining on plush towels,
breathing in the scent of ylang-ylang
and relaxing to the sound of whale birthing music.
Fulvia picks up the right foot,
sighs deeply and says
"Well, I will do what I can."
MrsM sits up straight
- which is very difficult on the slippery plush towels -
Her toes will never be those of a super model
but she does have regular pedicures.
She is outraged.
Fulvia says
"Do you do anything to your feet?"
MrsM has visions of flossing between her toes
and says wildly (and untruthfully)
that she moisturises regularly.
Fulvia says
"You should remove the dead skin every four days
and exfoliate regularly."
MrsM says with a light, tinkling laugh
"Goodness, you make me feel guilty."
Fulvia says
"Well, they are not the worst I have ever seen
because I have seen some terrible feet."
MrsM considers escape routes but
Fulvia has both feet in an iron grip.
Fulvia says
"I am surprised.
At least you can carry off this polish.
I thought that it would look quite anaemic."
MrsM is crushed.
She is a foot failure.
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Someone with a name like Fulvia has very little room to criticize anyone about anything.
ReplyDeleteP.S. She would faint dead away at the sight of my ill-maintained feet.
She should see mine. they only get soap and water
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs Gina xxx
I'm sure your feet are lovely. She'd probably be horrified at the state of mine! K x
ReplyDeleteI assume that Fulvia is a super-model?
ReplyDeleteEvery four days I rub mine in the shower with my hand...does that count as exfoliation?
Oh, I would have lied through my teeth at the devotion I paid to my feet just to shut her up!
ReplyDeleteAnd this is precisely why I never set foot in a 'beauty salon'.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could find a stray toenail clipping to put in her tip jar.
Fulvia est puella incomptus
Which is very spooky, since my online Latin dictionary tells me that as well as meaning rude, incomptus also means untrimmed. Mt M will appreciate that I'm sure (but probably correct my grammar - always loathed latin).
The thought of flossing between ones toes had me hysterical with laughter!
ReplyDeleteHmm. Oh dear. How cuttingly rude. I do wonder what she would make of my trotters. I suspect they would fall into the 'worse than MrsM's' category. MrP doesn't have a swiss army knife. Otherwise I might require it for damage limitation.
ReplyDeleteIt's HOT here and forecast says it will get even HOTTER.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know ...
I do my own pedicure, thank you.
No criticism, no judgment, my favourite colours.
Paola
I suspect she would banish me from her salon forever. There is a reason I wear Mary Janes rather than open toed sandals ...
ReplyDeleteI knew a Fulvia once. She sounds remarkably like yours.
surely 'incompta' unless she is keeping her options open.
ReplyDeleteSounds a pain in the gluteus maximus anyway
Reminds me of Galia the beautician, 22 years ago, who announced she was surprised I only wanted a facial, considering my moustache needed a waxing.
ReplyDeleteThere, I bet that makes you feel better!
Time for a new foot therapist. And perhaps a visit to Fulvia's wearing nice sharp pointy stilettos --- "Lovely hands for massaging feet you have there... it would be a shame if anything happened to them...."
ReplyDeleteHave fun in Italy!
N.
I am very impressed that you managed a light tinkling laugh between gritted teeth. I have to go to a chiropodist for mine but I'll spare you the gory details.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely time in Italy and I look forward to playing 'guess the location' when you get back.
Please....spare us....
ReplyDeleteNo pictures.
You may be a foot failure but I wouldn't even be entered for the exam.
Have a beautiful time in Italy.